Displaced

There is a placement in displacement. This placement is anchored in the self. I am continuously striving to find my place. Yet, all of this is my place. I am at home everywhere, wherever I am. Yet, I am not home yet. Such dichotomy. Two opposite directional pulls of my life. I am and I am not. I am here and I am not. I am there and I am not. What confusion for our human brains!

Life exists in the opposites. Two extremes, two polar opposites. South and North pole and all civilization exists in between. Similarly, my life exists between two polar opposites. At first, the extremes were extreme. I could be in the space of hate for long time, and then space of love for long time. Moving between the two rapidly without any control in the movement.

Now, I move swiftly with ease between these emotions when they appear. I can move from unsettling thoughts to more settled thinking. To non-acceptance to acceptance. In this way, I can be slowly but surely, more present. To be present is to be alive in the moment, with the moment. That is our true age. How many new moments we are able to live, instead of being in a loop with past, or fantasizing of a future, that might not happen.

I am not against fantasizing, but often, we fantasize without grounding. We fantasize over and over again, with great attachment to results that haven’t materialized, and so they never materialize. To imagine while being grounded, and then let go, is to allow the future to emerge gloriously, even better than you have imagined. Our deepest desires come true.

Our deepest desires, if only we knew. If only I knew. This again, goes back to I want to know myself. More and more. How is it that I move through the world, without knowing myself? There is so much to learn here. How my heart beats faster, when I see something beautiful. That I consider beautiful. Why do I admire roses more than other flowers? Why do I have emotions of love, and how is that my heart flutters romantically?

I save my thoughts to myself. I try to come back to myself. I have been lost inwardly before to others. Existing outside, but not living the world. Now I live inwardly, and outwardly more and more. Am I convincing yet?

I am trying to make a case for my displacement. I am displaced outwardly, in a different county, living in a house that doesn’t belong to me, and not experiencing the full expression of my outward life. Inwardly, I am satisfied. I know this is where I am supposed to be. I am looking for wisdom, learning about myself more and feeling secure in how I cope.

Is this how we humans live? What is our common perspective? Do we have a common language?